Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
