omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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