Nicole vs. Life
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
