I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
