I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
