I just made out with a guy for $7.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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