how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
