one two three fourrrrnication!
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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