So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
