I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
