I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
