Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
