There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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