yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
