Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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