Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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