I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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