It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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