I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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