What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
