I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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