i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
