TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
