What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
If I die, sorry about rent.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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