I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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