I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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