awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Can I color on your dick again?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
