And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Let's get the cat blown out
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
