Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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