I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
