Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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