he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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