cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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