your parents love me but you hate me
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
