Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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