If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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