sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
