i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood and glitter go together right?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Randomize