just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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