We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
