he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
