Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
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