Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
So much rum. So many feels.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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