I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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