i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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