Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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