I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize
