dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
