hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I'm passing your future prison.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
