my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I will pee on everything he values.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize