dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
