Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
