Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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