You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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