jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
