Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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