Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
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You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I party with great urgency now.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
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