I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
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