it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
