I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
