we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
