whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
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