Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Randomize
