Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
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my cup is half full, half full of rum.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
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Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
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