So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
