what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
