South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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