Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You ate ashes out of my bong
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
