This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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